I’ve been on a variety of means of transport since I’ve been back in the UK and so I’ve had lots of time to eavesdrop:

Man on the phone: I’ve eaten salmon twice today but I’ll happily eat it tomorrow.

Man on the phone to the mother of his son: You need to go over his six, seven, eight and nine times tables.

Inaudible voice must say something like: Where will I find them?

Man: From your head preferably…

Female student to travelling companion (male): It’s that she won’t because she can’t because of her religion.